Moving Mania
So the thing is that I really do have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
I was diagnosed with it in my 20's... and I wish I had known about it when I was about 5 when the symptoms first started showing up. Still, I know NOW, and that's a huge help.
Because sometimes I get out of control. Usually when things are stressful- from a bad cold or fender bender, to a death in the family- I will, at some point in the weeks thereafter, notice my OCD kick into high gear. It has something to do with control and anxiety- and it's a drag.
For example, we're getting ready to move to a new state. This part is not new- nor is it part of the "manic" phase of my illness. But the inability to stop thinking about it and planning for it is definitely gone past the norm.
I've become a house-maniac.
I peruse the "Realtor.com" sites for hours. I have mentally packed nearly every room in the house. I know what color the paint will be in the new kitchen.... we have not even picked out a house yet.
I bore my friends with pictures and swatches, and lose sleep over whether we need to refinish the coffee table or replace it (it is so beat up). Victorian? Ranch? Colonial?
My Husband, the long-suffering and patient man that he is, has the grace to at least pretend that he isn't ready to strangle me if I utter one more word about loans or granite counters.
And my kids- 2 of whom unfortunately share my little problem- are confused and excited in a way that is reminiscent of a 3 year old waiting for Santa Claus in September.
It has become the topic of the day...and night.... and everything in between.
And we WILL be moving- possibly before the end of the summer.
But I can't seem to shut up about it.
It's exhausting to have constant and recurrent thoughts. I know it will subside- it always does. And I chose to not take meds for it because of some bad reactions over the years. So I wade my way through these phases, and try to laugh about it... and apologize a lot.
So the next time that someone is boring you to tears with their plans, dreams, ideas or fears, remember that some of us just can't help it. It's actually out of our control.... for the moment. And it will get better. Really. I think.
Anyone want to hear about the kind of house we're looking for?
I was diagnosed with it in my 20's... and I wish I had known about it when I was about 5 when the symptoms first started showing up. Still, I know NOW, and that's a huge help.
Because sometimes I get out of control. Usually when things are stressful- from a bad cold or fender bender, to a death in the family- I will, at some point in the weeks thereafter, notice my OCD kick into high gear. It has something to do with control and anxiety- and it's a drag.
For example, we're getting ready to move to a new state. This part is not new- nor is it part of the "manic" phase of my illness. But the inability to stop thinking about it and planning for it is definitely gone past the norm.
I've become a house-maniac.
I peruse the "Realtor.com" sites for hours. I have mentally packed nearly every room in the house. I know what color the paint will be in the new kitchen.... we have not even picked out a house yet.
I bore my friends with pictures and swatches, and lose sleep over whether we need to refinish the coffee table or replace it (it is so beat up). Victorian? Ranch? Colonial?
My Husband, the long-suffering and patient man that he is, has the grace to at least pretend that he isn't ready to strangle me if I utter one more word about loans or granite counters.
And my kids- 2 of whom unfortunately share my little problem- are confused and excited in a way that is reminiscent of a 3 year old waiting for Santa Claus in September.
It has become the topic of the day...and night.... and everything in between.
And we WILL be moving- possibly before the end of the summer.
But I can't seem to shut up about it.
It's exhausting to have constant and recurrent thoughts. I know it will subside- it always does. And I chose to not take meds for it because of some bad reactions over the years. So I wade my way through these phases, and try to laugh about it... and apologize a lot.
So the next time that someone is boring you to tears with their plans, dreams, ideas or fears, remember that some of us just can't help it. It's actually out of our control.... for the moment. And it will get better. Really. I think.
Anyone want to hear about the kind of house we're looking for?
posted by jules @ 11:34 PM
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