Summer Bummers

When did AUGUST become the start of the new school year?
What happened?
It's supposed to be in September- right after Labor Day...right after the Jerry Lewis Telethon (yeah, I know it's for Muscular Dystrophy, but we never could remember that part). Now, kids are starting in what I consider to be the Dog Days of Summer--- not fall, or even the hint of fall.
This is SUMMER SCHOOL, as far as I'm concerned.

If you look at most calendars, you'll see that the symbol for September is the APPLE. This is not just because of the beginning of the harvest season, but because of the whole school/ teacher/apple relationship. If you go through classroom supply catalogs (as I do), you'll notice that the September bulletin boards are filled with little red schoolhouses and "Welcome Back" banners.... August, if it's shown at all, still has beach scenes and giant yellow suns. That's because AUGUST IS STILL SUMMERTIME.

ANYWAY-
It just reminded me of all the summer things that we took for granted- the experiences our kids will never enjoy:

- Squishing 14 kids in the wayback of Mom's station wagon for the 20 minute drive to the beach. I don't which amazes my kids more: that we fit that many kids in without seatbelts, or that it only took 20 minutes in those days.

- Playing Hide-and-Go-Seek in the dark of the evening. Yeah, there were mosquito bites, but no, we didn't worry about getting sick. Oh, yeah, and we didn't have a grownup in sight!

- Staying out until well past "curfew" on someone's front lawn- drinking sodas and eating candy from the liquor store.
This is something most kids don't have anymore: the neighborhood safety-zone. We could and would hang out at the designated person's house for hours. Our parents knew where we were, and I would guess that each family on the block took turns "hosting". I can't remember a single incident where anyone got stupid or hurt. Yeah, we talked a lot about the things my kids actually can see on TV now- smoking and sex and drugs - but none of us actually had a clue. At worst, we used the foulest words we knew and tried to sound like we were cool. "Bitch" was a big one, as I recall.

- Not using sunblock.
Sorry, I know this is a "well, we know better now" thing, but lubing up to spend a few minutes in the sun is a drag, and I don't care if that's PIC, it's the stinkin' truth.

- ditto bike helmets, elbow pads, and filtered or bottled water---remember drinking out of the nearest hose instead of going home for a drink of water? did anyone actually die from the supposed lead poisoning we all were exposed to???
No, I thought not.

I often wonder what we do now that our grandkids will be appalled at (what? you mean you actually held the cell phone up to your ear? wow, how stupid were you???).

- Waiting until the first day of school to get the supply list.
There was nothing like that first - usually half- day of no books, no papers, and waiting to see what kind of stuff you were going to have to/ get to buy for school.
Plus, once the teacher told you what to have, you could plan with your best friends to make sure you all got the same or matching supplies.
Nowadays, they give you the list at the beginning of vacation so you have time to shop and plan- but it's just not the same, and certainly it's not nearly as exciting as that mad rush to Sav-On and Thrifty to get your supplies before the first full day of school.

- Starting school IN SEPTEMBER,
like God intended.


Happy End of Summer!
As my Middlest says, "We can't wait for the 'Embers to start!!!"

Here She Comes.......

Here are some things I no longer do:

1. Answer every email.
I used to think that if someone took the time to write me- or forward something they thought I would appreciate- I should at least have the common courtesy to write back. Lately, I have been too busy in my real life to pay much attention to the cyber one... last week, I came back to over 80 emails that showed up over 4 days.
Uh uh.
Now I pick and choose. Forward at your own risk- and if you doubt my affection, appreciation, or attention, well, get over it.


2. Answer every phone call.
I mean, sometimes I just let it go to voice mail. The phone rings and I take a good look around. Are the kids all home? Husband? Anyone I know hugely pregnant, sick or having a particularly bad time of it? What am I doing right now? Do I really want to take the time to chat with someone? Am I enjoying this moment? What have I got planned for later? Will answering the phone potentially make me have to rush to get somewhere else later?
I don't even look at the Caller ID. I make the decision based on my own needs.
How weird is that?

3. Pretend I wasn't asleep, if I was.
When I do answer the phone, and I have been asleep (it's summer - we're all sleeping late and long--- luscious!), I no longer feel the need to pretend I was awake already. I'm not sure when I stopped being embarrassed about my sleep- or, maybe, why it was an issue before. But I know others do it, too, so I'm not totally insane.
Still, if someone says, "Oh, did I wake you?", I now say, "Yep". No apologies. Maybe an added, "but it's ok, I needed to get up." (if I actually did). But I see sleep as the nectar of the gods, and if I am lucky enough to get some, I'm for damn sure going to embrace it with pride.
I guess I'm growing up.
Or getting old.

4. Think I have to know all the details.
That's not to say that I don't appreciate a juicy tidbit of gossip. I do. But I also don't want to know too many details. I have a lot of life here, and I don't need to know too much about someone else's mess. Besides, it makes it that much harder when they go on and get past it, and I'm still here wondering how they will ever forgive each other.
On top of all that, I've noticed that I sometimes forget what I'm supposed to know, and what is secret-secret. That does not work well for me. I will say the wrong thing to the wrong person. Too much responsibility.

5. Keep my big mouth shut.
Yeah, lately, I really find myself putting my fat foot into it. It's not that I'm trying to be rude, but it seems I no longer have a ton of patience with the whole idea of non-confrontation, dishonesty, or sneakiness .
Now, I do think this is age-related. And I also think I have inherited the "blatant gene" from my Nana. Certainly it was passed down through my Gram, though it may have bypassed my mother, who believes that not hurting someone's feelings is the same as not confronting them when they need confronting.
I know people who are cheating on their partners, taking things that don't belong to them, and otherwise lying on their resumes, so to speak. They actually think they are getting away with it in front of the rest of us because no one will say anything.
And I've begun to take it personally- like, does she really think I'm that stupid???
So, LIARS, THIEVES AND SNEAKS BEWARE, I am onto you- and I may just call your bluff when you least expect it.
No patience.

6. Care so much what people think about me.
OK, I am a pretty nice person. I am smart and mostly kind. I think I am funny- at least I crack myself up. So this isn't like I need to rationalize why I am not liked. I know I mostly AM.
But to hell with anyone who doesn't get me.
When does that happen? At some point I just stopped caring about it. Like, I can write all this, and some of you will go, "ooh, she's being bitchy", and some of you will laugh and nod with agreement, having the same feelings yourself. And a few of you know me well enough to just chalk it up to Jules Today-Who-May-Feel-Differently-Tomorrow.
And it just doesn't matter.
I write for me.

And I guess that's what all of this is about, huh? That I'm beginning to shift my focus back to me. Sure, my life is centered around my family, but MY NEEDS are beginning to come back in to play--- and that's kind of a fun thing.

And it totally explains why there is that media stereotype of the old woman who says everything she thinks, and others cringe around her. Who knows, and then tells, everyone's secrets (usually saving the mortgage, the Bixby account, or the course of true love ). Who couldn't care less what others are saying about her, while she tries to convince the pressured teen next door to do the same.
It's a stereotype because it's mostly true: Young women spend so much time worrying about our popularity and reputations, then we focus on their partners, and then our kids... and at a certain point, we come to the understanding that it is MY TURN.
Yeah, she saves the day, doesn't she?
I am so going to be that.