The Force

My Son is obsessed with Star Wars.

At 2 years old, he saw the 4th movie (which, as you know, is really the 1st one) at his cousin's house. We didn't think he as even watching- certainly never thought he'd "get it"- heck, I still don't understand half of the real Star Wars story lines.
But shortly after that day, my Son became a Jedi.

And when I say he "became", I mean that, in the truest sense of the word, being a Jedi was his true calling. His first light saber was a half- sized blue I found on eBay - came with a talking Yoda. He slept with it. He wore longjohns as "Luke", and a robe over that as "Anakin". Every day.
Then we discovered the Rebel Alliance aisle at ToysRus ...and the rest is a very cluttered history.
Over the past 3 years, he has acquired 8 light sabers (his grandmother and aunts think it is their job to keep his equipment current), and we've created a galaxy- complete with glow-paint stars and a giant styrofoam Death Star in his bedroom. Every birthday party has a Star Wars theme (you know how most kids go on to "something else"? Not our Son). Every Halloween costume for 3 years has been a Skywalker of some kind. And his tortoise is named Yoda.

He has seen every movie and cartoon so many times that he knows every breath the characters take. We have coloring books, clothing, action figures, Game Boy games, breakfast cereal.... his Galactic Heroes collection numbers about 60. And that's with the strict rule that no violent, bloody or intense items will come into this house. He's still just 5-1/2.

So we get this flyer- black and white with a giant Darth Vader head on it....
TOYS R US STAR WARS RELEASE!
Midnight Party
for the release of the new STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE SITH toys!

Included in these new toys are "DARTH TATER", a Mr. Potato Head dressed as you-know-who, a sprinkler shaped as you-know-who, a water gun shaped like a Wookie, a ton of new sound-making lightsabers, and a myriad of toddler toys that are similar to the Hasbro "Rescue Heroes", for kids 3-8. And so , so , so much more.

And that's my problem.

See, I get that George Lucas is selling this movie through merchandise. In fact, it is common Hollywood knowledge that he made his real money on the first movie by asking for the merchandising rights. 2oth Century Fox, having never seen the likes of Star Wars (or any of the hyper-merchandised films that followed), expected he might make some lunchboxes and Colorforms, and that would be that.
It didn't work out that way.

We ALL had the "May the Force Be With You" t-shirts, the action figures, games. As the subsequent movies were released, we continued to buy into them- literally. And were mostly happy to do so. These characters became like family; we didn't just watch them for 2 hours in a darkened theatre, we wore them, we slept on them, even ate them. Even other movies paid homage to the mega-merchandising of the Force: remember the scene in "E.T." when Elliott tries to teach E.T. the names of all his Star Wars action figures? ("That one's Lando Calrissian...").

So when my Son became a Jedi, it was simply accepted as part of a normal American boy's growth- the way my uncles were the Beatles or Davy Crockett, or my Dad was Tom Mix. I was just glad that his calling wasn't Yu-Gi-Oh.
Star Wars is familiar---no, it IS "family".

Until now.

Because despite the R2D2 Cheez-Its, the "Soft Sleep Buddy Darth", and the size 3T Anakin pajamas, THIS new movie is rated PG-13.
And my son will not see it.

Oh, he knows all the characters already. They all do, those Padawan kids. It's in the coloring books, the commercials, the toys themselves. The Son already wants a "General Grievous" toy... and a "red" Darth.. whatever that is.
That's how it works- Disney does the same thing. They ingrain the kids with the information, they pique their interest by merchandising.... and we parents will generally follow suit.

But not this time.

George Lucas gave an interview on "60 Minutes" in which he said that he would "not take a 5 or 6 year old to see this film". That this one would be "very dark", and that the PG-13 rating speaks for itself.

We have been betrayed.

We bought his dynasty for the past 27 years since the first movie came out. We welcomed these characters into our daily lives.
We gave birth to Jedis.

And now, Mr. Lucas has cheated us out of the final Chapter. More immediately, he has made all GOOD parents the BAD GUYS.
We are the ones who will have to tell our little guys that they will have to wait until they are old to see a film that is infiltrating every aspect of their lives.
"Yes, that whole aisle of toys, those shirts, those tennis shoes, that cereal, that bodysoap, the sheets, towels, cards, games, lawn ornaments, chips, popsicles, soda cans, hats, pjs, books, lunchboxes, pool toys, .... IGNORE THEM."

I can't help but think that Mr. Lucas created this last film as a reward for all the 25 year old men-boys who live in their mother's basements and collect comic books. Or for the prime "Hollywood" demographic of 13-18 year olds who just want to see things blown up--- or naked.
But then why the need to advertise- to merchandise- for an audience of children who aren't even supposed to see this movie???

Ah, GREED (or should that be "Greedo"?).

But the truth is, those highly-prized audience members don't make the real money. And they don't spend the real money. They don't have the disposable income and the joy of pleasing the children by buying to excess.
WE do. We, the PARENTS, are the ones who will buy the more of myth for our kids. And there are lots of us.

My son learned some things while becoming a Jedi, and he is very adamant about these facts: Jedis do not seek power, Jedis are loyal, and Jedis are fair--- and you can tell the good guys from the bad guys by the color of their lightsaber.

I wonder what color George Lucas' lightsaber is.